Sword Art Online: The Cavern
by ThisIsTheGreastestUsername
Summary: What if when you die in game, you don't die in real life. Instead you are taken to a legendary place. A place considered to be The Place for many, where your wildest drinking dreams comes true. Welcome to The Cavern!


**This is another OneShot. The setting takes place in The Cavern, a place where players actually go to instead of the Nerve Gear frying their brains. I actually wrote a lot for this story but then a moment of enlightenment shined upon me and I realized that there was an extreme amount of unnecessary bs so I cut out like half the story which made it a billion times better now. I may or may not write a sequel to this. I'm not really good at committing to long term projects. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer I do not own Sword Art Online. I just own the right to have ThisIsTheGreatestUsername as a username.**

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**Sword Art Online: The Cavern**

06:30

Diabel sighed in relieve as he looked away from the clock. Like any other clocks in the real world, this one runs on a twenty-four hours basis. He had long lost the track of the time he had been here. His fingers tightened around the mop he was holding with his right hand, the wet floor soaked the sole of his yellow boots. He lifted up the mop and threw it at the bucket that stood a meter to his left. Unfortunately, he never had the opportunity to level his throwing skills, so the bucket was knocked over, its liquid contents spilling over the white tiles.

"Great." Diabel mumbled. He gazed at the mess he had created. "I hate this job."

He pinched his nose with his thumb and index finger as the putrid smell of disinfectant infected his nose. It was one of the many things of toilet cleaning that irked him to no ends. "And just when my shift had finished…" He grumbled, bending over to pick up the fallen bucket.

Diabel's free hand pulled some paper from the tissue dispenser before dumping the bunch of them on the floor. "I'll just leave it. If anyone asks, I'll say that Big Al vomited all over the floor again." He said, straightening his back as he stood upright. Everyone knew that cleaning up after Big Al was the last thing Diabel would do, it was the last thing anyone would do.

He walked out the washroom's door, splashing water on his way to the corridor. _Cleaning toilets. _This was a new definition of unfortunate for the former leader of the first boss raid party. He'd forgotten how it all came to this.

Diabel wiped his soiled hands on his grey jumpsuit. The mess hall's entrance lay at the end of the corridor as he sulkily trudged towards it. Despite being fifty foot long, the corridor was almost always empty. Everyone mainly just stays inside the mess hall. _Why wouldn't they? _He pushed his way through the wooden doors.

If one could describe the mess hall in a word, that itself would have been an amazing feat. The room itself had a 15,000 square foot area, tapestries of Aincrad hung from the walls, although they were now stained. Round tables were arranged in no particular order. There were the occasional beer bottles that rolled all over the floor. In other areas, everything was set aside for the usual bouts of wrestling, players inside the armpits of another.

Diabel sat quietly by himself at the back as he watched the scene unfolded before him, the assembly of players whistled and cheered. It was the annual '_drink off'_. The middle of the mess hall was cleared, only a lone table stood at centre. There sat all four contestants.

"ANOTHER!" A player with twisted hair locks and a long golden beard roared, smashing his mug onto the floor which shattered into polygons upon impact. The crowd roared with him. His competitors picked up their pace, expressing signs of worry.

Diabel hissed in annoyance at the sight. Shots after shots, mugs after mugs, all went down their throats in quick succession. "You _oafs_ better stay away from the toilets!" He cursed under his breath.

He leaned back on his chair as he brought his legs forth and planted them on the table in front, intending to doze off after a good day's work. However, a dark-skinned player came up to him, his squeaky voice said- "Diabel-san, you are on 'welcome' duty today."

"Got it, Fezil." Diabel said, smiling at the player. However on the inside, he frowned. He had yearned for a break, after spending God knows how long stuck in the washrooms where players daily released their _spirit bombs_.

"You better go now, they will be here soon." Fezil pointed out before disappearing into the crowd of players.

"_Let's hope this doesn't take long_…"

Diabel sighed as he pulled out a switch out of his pocket; there were two buttons, a red and a green one. Over the past month, the rate of arrivals had slowed down considerably. It has been a week since the last batch of new arrivals. He paused for a moment before calmly pressing the red button. A flash of blue lights surrounded him and along with it, he disappeared.

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"Welcome to The Cavern!" Diabel said cheerfully to a group of four. His jumpsuit was replaced with a black tuxedo, with a white shirt beneath the blazer and a black tie neatly tucked in, his blue hair was tied in a little ponytail at the back of his head.

"Where are we?" A long haired boy asked. He was the second tallest of the group.

Diabel smiled at the question, his eyes only open in a slit. "The Cavern." He repeated himself. It's the same with all arrivals, they all asks the same thing. He had done this enough times to know that, enough times to write a book on it. "Now, if you would. Please follow me." He requested, gesturing to a door that stood behind him.

"Wait, I don't understand what's going on." A brown haired male stepped forward. "We died, didn't we?"

"Nope, you are quite alive." Diabel replied, gesturing to the door again.

"But I remembered being killed." This time a blonde haired boy spoke.

"Well, now you're here." Diabel's patience was running low dangerously quick, but he kept smiling.

"Who are you?" The long haired player spoke again.

"I'm the bouncer."

"Are you sure that we're not dead?"

"Positive."

"Hey, I think he's a ghost." The blonde whispered to the other three. "Just look at his face." Diabel lifted an eyebrow. "He looks like a janitor wearing a suit."

That hit a nerve in Diabel. Being called a janitor by a blonde wasn't exactly a pleasant comment, even though _it's true_. But he kept his lips from falling into a frown. "That's some mighty perception you got there, _insignificant_ boy." He taunted, withdrawing his left arm behind his back.

"Who're you calling insignificant, slender man?" The blonde barked, he clench his fist against his brown cloak.

"Please stop Ducker…" The only girl in the group who had been silent the whole time pleaded. She wore a chest plate over a light blue dress; it was lined with an even darker shade of blue, her skirt just reached above her knees.

"Yes, do please stop _insignificant_ boy." Diabel kept smiling, playfully teasing. He wanted to leave so badly. "We do desperately need to get out of this room because your insignificance is spreading at a frightening pace." He placed his right hand at his heart as he did a little bow.

Ducker clenched his fist even tighter. "Why you-"

"Stop it, let's just get going." The brown haired said. He grabbed the collars of Ducker before proceeding to dragged him to the door. The other two followed. Diabel danced happily in his mind as he did another bow when Ducker past by him on his way out.

The door led them to the corridor, the loud voices and noises coming from the mess hall could be heard. Diabel stalked behind them in silence, his two arms behind his back. The group in front of him fidgets nervously; it was something all arrivals do.

"_They're just like the last batch, albeit more annoying." _Diabel thought to himself.

He transferred himself to the front as they halted before grand wooden doors. "Now pay attention, while I explain everything." All eyes followed him intently, not that they weren't before. He reached in under his blazer and pulled out the switch from before. "If you look into your inventory, there will be a switch like this." He waited as they dragged their menu to access the inventory. Ducker nodded. "If you pressed the red button, it would take you to your dormitory which already has been prepared for you. The green button will bring you back here."

Four new switches materialized in each of the four's hand. They may not know exactly where they were but it was safe to assume they understood how to operate two simple buttons.

"This here is the mess hall." Diabel said, hitting the door with his right hand. "Most of the time you will spend your time here, with the other players."

"O-Other Players?" The girl asked hesitantly. She tapped her fingers together. "I-I'm sorry, but I still don't understand why we are here." Everyone had the exact same question.

Diabel stayed quiet for a few moments as the group stared at him without uttering a word. He allowed his smile to fade. He dreaded that they asked this question, even though he'd expected. It was something even he barely knew the answer. "We were told that dying in the game would mean death on the other side too." He inhaled deeply before letting out his breath out loud. "But, instead of that we were brought here."

He sensed '_whys'_ coming his way soon and it was going to cut his precious break time short. The endless bombardment won't stop until they get an answer they were satisfied with. But he didn't know _why_. No one knows _why_; or whether anything had happened to their real bodies. He had just woken up here one day, just like those four did. The boss fight, his wound, his _death_ all felt _real_ to him, so vivid. Yet at the same time, it seemed like an illusion.

"Why?"

_There it is._

He curled the hand that smacked the door into a ball. "I don't know." He let out another loud breath. Every time he thought of this, the aims of Kayaba Akihiko became more confusing. It ate the insides of him. Such mysteries are the worst kind to him; the ones that can't be solved. "Anyway, let's go in." He quickly attempted any further questioning, pushing the door wide opened.

The full glory of the mess hall became exposed to their eyes, the _'drink off' _was still ongoing. The girl jumped behind the brown haired, who you can't blame considering the majority of players within are males. Even among the few female players in SAO, most of them stayed in the Town of Beginnings. As a result, the number of girls here can be counted with one hand.

The four looked at each other, unsure of the consequences of stepping through those doors. A long awkward silence unsettled them; Diabel's fake smile was unnerving enough. A couple of seconds passed, then a handful, soon several minutes, before the first one step forward and entered the hall, followed by the others.

A genuine smile escaped Diabel's lips. "Enjoy your stay at The Cavern!" He called out behind them.

_A job well done_. Now he could relax, and damn was he exhausted. _"Perhaps I should return to my dormitory"_ he thought, but he knew that was impossible.

"_I would be needed soon."_ He sighed as a horde of players stampede past him in a B-line for the toilets.

"Diabel-san…" A player called his name. Diabel already knew what he wanted.

"Let me go get changed first."

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**Well that's the end of this story. Be sure to review the story and if you would like you can pm me. See Ya.**


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